# 21 - I never care. I never was.

Maybe it's true. Maybe not. When people said that "Your words might define who you are". How do I suppose to believe that rumour whereas I'd live in a world that full of lies and hypocrites? If I ask this question to anyone, I know they don't have any ideas to answer it. No matter how I've tried to be such a good girl, people still judge me. People won't satisfied with me at all as long as they still don’t know the wholly about me. People going to say that, say this and bla bla bla. There's a time which I can't be myself although I don't want to and I have to. Especially when nowadays I've been exposed to various kinds of people. It was tough for me to resist such a lot of influences. Although most of them were my friends, I won't be such a dumb girl as I've to follow every single word that has been said by them. 

Random me at random place, 2011

Sometimes, silent are the best policy for me. I've been through a lot of tough moments. Yes, I'd love to make mistakes which is I'll learn from it to educate myself and be ready to face the real world. I’m twenty. And now I knew that world is not too beautiful as much as my imagination did. Thing is, it's better for you to be a good listener than be such a sweet talker. You didn't realize what have you said and from that people will simply label you as what they want too. So, beware. But, when people have labelled me, like anything, their thoughts about me, all I want to say is I never care. I never was.

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 20 - Deep Inside

Assalammualaikum. 

Do you have a crush? Or maybe just someone you like? But deep down inside, you know you can't have him/her for a reason even you, yourself can't explain. Maybe you're scared that he/she might not have the same feeling as you do. You're scared he/she might turn you down or worst, they have feelings for someone else. Well, that's my reason. I'm afraid I might be alone in this. I'm afraid he might not feel the same way. Haha. Come on, look at me. An ugly face with full of personality. *sigh*. Pathetic. I know.

Selca, Iptech 2012

Well, that's just how life goes. You can't always get what you want. Maybe one day you'll eventually get what you need. InsyaAllah. But on the girly part of me wishes he feels the same way. I mean pssk. Who wouldn't want that?! Haha. That would be really great if it happens. But, for the time being, day-dreaming is the best way to handle all this crap. Hehee.

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 19 - Brand New Life

Assalammualaikum

Hello this is my first post in 2013. Yehaaa!

As time goes by, I may have realised that sometimes you just got to point at yourself. Knowing that you're the reason everything went wrong. Understand that you are the one to blame. Because that's just how it is. Nobody can't make your mistakes but you. You, yourself makes those mistakes. I made my mistakes. Still do, like now. Not appreciating what's supposed to be appreciated. Not loving the ones who love me. Cause I'm just human. Who am I to be perfect? Who am I to not make mistakes?

New campus, Bandar Enstek, Jan 2013

Thus I set up a new resolution for new year aspirations. I have thought that there a few thing that I want to achieve. Do I need to write it here? Hehee a big no I reckon. Let me keep it to myself. Have you ever heard that people say that sometimes we have to keep something to ourself and not gonna share it with anyone else. So there you go, I'm keeping it to myself now. Oh yaah, I don't really have a plan for this but what I know it's time for me to laugh and enjoy life again. 

New campus, Bandar Enstek, Jan 2013

Not to forget, I have registered for a new semester. I'm now in semester three of degree year. It's not so long away to go before I graduate. As for new semester start, I got almost everything new. New room mate who is also one of my close friend, new comfortable classroom and the most obvious one is I get the opportunity to study in new campus. It's located in the rural area. Nothing much I can do here, but I like this place. Full of peace and privacy. Most important, it's not so far from my house. (Approx 20 min of driving). All the thing that I hope for is I hope that my life going to be well and smooth here with my lecture classes, friends and new environment. So that's it. And I will be writing again, some day. 

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 18 - She's Sherot.

This is Siti Nur Shahirah Baharun. She's my since born best friend / friend-in-crime / adviser. People say a lotttttttttttt of things about her. Both good and bad things. But still I stuck with her. I love her even if she's a mean person. Haha. That’s one of her qualities. I'm the 1st who called out her name as Sherot. Idk why, but I just love to call her that way.

Kindergarten - Secondary School - 1st year of college

She taught me a lot of things. She taught me to grow up and just do whatever I want. Cause she does that.So many things has changed over the past few months, She's gotten prettier, nicer, sweeter and I've became fatter, A BIT taller, more mature and I grew up. But I know in that picture I look like a freaking toddler. Ha-ha. So yeah, that's Sherot.

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 17 - My Abah, My Hero.

 Assalamualaikum,

I believe that most of my qualities and flaws come from my dad. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. He's not so small in size, cool, food hunter and a real hunter basically. Same goes here. 

I miss him a lot. I know that even if I'm the naughtiest and the worst daughter he could ever have but he loves me. He cares about me and proud of me. I know he wants the best for me. 

Somewhere which I didn't really know where and when

His awkwardness and unintended snobbishness explains who he is. Mr. Abdullah Bin Jaafar. My proud and loving father. 

In these pictures above, in order to find my dad you just have to look for the Chinese look guy in the picture. Hehe. And the last couple of pictures are my favourite photograph with him. He is a guy who's one of the reason why I am alive. Literally.

Home Sweet Home, 1998

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 16 - You, of All People.

Assalamualaikum,

This man I'm gonna write about here is Rais Rafiee. He has been a close friend of mine since 2008. We know each other quite well. In and out. We argued a lot throughout the years of knowing each other. And still do as the matter of fact. We disagree on many things. We love different types of music genre. We mingle in a very different social circle. To cut things short, we're literally two different people. I know most of you don't care to know about our non-existent relationship but I of most people do.

He's an amazing guy. No, he might not be my boyfriend but he's a great company to me. Well yeah he may have this annoying attitude where he goes vain a lot and daydream every minute he can but that's kinda a thing that makes him special. Aside the fact that if you ask him anything related to games and engineering stuff, he'll know what to answer. When I say everything, I meant EVERYTHING. 

Somewhere on road,  2011

Ahh yes, I may have exaggerated a few things but wth. Some people may not like him cause he may come out a bit.. hm.. snobbish? But I know him well enough to understand that he's a shy mouse and he doesn't speak a lot to people cause when he does, he says some weird shizz. I swear. You can be uncomfortable around him if you're not used to it. So that's why he stays quiet around people. Unless he knows you're okay with weird stuff that's gonna come out off his mouth. And if he's comfortable too. And I am way beyond comfortable. And believe me when I say, I've some really deep weird stuff you can never imagine hearing from a guy like him.

All I'm trying to say here is that he is an awesome man. I'd be damn if he ends up with someone who doesn't deserve him. He's like family to me. Blood and flesh. But lets end this before I start to write things I'm not supposed to. Even though I know this whole post, isn't suppose to be written but who cares. I want people to know how awesome my best buddy is. Oh btw, hey there Rais if you're reading this just ignore it and do as if you never read this post okay! LOL

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 15 - This is me

I’m actually a really shy person. Like when you first meet me, our conversation is going to be awkward no matter what because I wouldn’t have any idea what to talk about. 

Iptech Hall,  Sept. 2012

It is also worse when you are cute. But if you wait a little I will get comfortable talking with you. Then I will start talking that I will annoy you. I do love to talks a lot. 

The Typewriter,

-Anis-