# 21 - I never care. I never was.

Maybe it's true. Maybe not. When people said that "Your words might define who you are". How do I suppose to believe that rumour whereas I'd live in a world that full of lies and hypocrites? If I ask this question to anyone, I know they don't have any ideas to answer it. No matter how I've tried to be such a good girl, people still judge me. People won't satisfied with me at all as long as they still don’t know the wholly about me. People going to say that, say this and bla bla bla. There's a time which I can't be myself although I don't want to and I have to. Especially when nowadays I've been exposed to various kinds of people. It was tough for me to resist such a lot of influences. Although most of them were my friends, I won't be such a dumb girl as I've to follow every single word that has been said by them. 

Random me at random place, 2011

Sometimes, silent are the best policy for me. I've been through a lot of tough moments. Yes, I'd love to make mistakes which is I'll learn from it to educate myself and be ready to face the real world. I’m twenty. And now I knew that world is not too beautiful as much as my imagination did. Thing is, it's better for you to be a good listener than be such a sweet talker. You didn't realize what have you said and from that people will simply label you as what they want too. So, beware. But, when people have labelled me, like anything, their thoughts about me, all I want to say is I never care. I never was.

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 20 - Deep Inside

Assalammualaikum. 

Do you have a crush? Or maybe just someone you like? But deep down inside, you know you can't have him/her for a reason even you, yourself can't explain. Maybe you're scared that he/she might not have the same feeling as you do. You're scared he/she might turn you down or worst, they have feelings for someone else. Well, that's my reason. I'm afraid I might be alone in this. I'm afraid he might not feel the same way. Haha. Come on, look at me. An ugly face with full of personality. *sigh*. Pathetic. I know.

Selca, Iptech 2012

Well, that's just how life goes. You can't always get what you want. Maybe one day you'll eventually get what you need. InsyaAllah. But on the girly part of me wishes he feels the same way. I mean pssk. Who wouldn't want that?! Haha. That would be really great if it happens. But, for the time being, day-dreaming is the best way to handle all this crap. Hehee.

The Typewriter,

-Anis-

# 19 - Brand New Life

Assalammualaikum

Hello this is my first post in 2013. Yehaaa!

As time goes by, I may have realised that sometimes you just got to point at yourself. Knowing that you're the reason everything went wrong. Understand that you are the one to blame. Because that's just how it is. Nobody can't make your mistakes but you. You, yourself makes those mistakes. I made my mistakes. Still do, like now. Not appreciating what's supposed to be appreciated. Not loving the ones who love me. Cause I'm just human. Who am I to be perfect? Who am I to not make mistakes?

New campus, Bandar Enstek, Jan 2013

Thus I set up a new resolution for new year aspirations. I have thought that there a few thing that I want to achieve. Do I need to write it here? Hehee a big no I reckon. Let me keep it to myself. Have you ever heard that people say that sometimes we have to keep something to ourself and not gonna share it with anyone else. So there you go, I'm keeping it to myself now. Oh yaah, I don't really have a plan for this but what I know it's time for me to laugh and enjoy life again. 

New campus, Bandar Enstek, Jan 2013

Not to forget, I have registered for a new semester. I'm now in semester three of degree year. It's not so long away to go before I graduate. As for new semester start, I got almost everything new. New room mate who is also one of my close friend, new comfortable classroom and the most obvious one is I get the opportunity to study in new campus. It's located in the rural area. Nothing much I can do here, but I like this place. Full of peace and privacy. Most important, it's not so far from my house. (Approx 20 min of driving). All the thing that I hope for is I hope that my life going to be well and smooth here with my lecture classes, friends and new environment. So that's it. And I will be writing again, some day. 

The Typewriter,

-Anis-